Life

Total weight loss to date: 7kg
Total centimetre loss to date:
Arms: 2.4cm
Waist: 2.5cm
Under bust: 4.5cm
Thigh: 2.6cm
Hips: 2.7cm


I currently feel like I'm living a double life as someone who is awesome and happy and strong willed, but who is secretly obsessing over every gram and every kilojoule. It's starting to get quite annoying. I want easy to please me back.

I just don't understand why I'm going all crazy again.

Reason #296 why this boy is awesome

Him: What are you thinking?
Me: Nothing. Well. Nothing. I'm just being silly.
Him: Tell me.
Me, sighing: I'm just... scared you're going to get bored of me.
Him, laughing: Well that should be the other way around.
Me: How so?
Him: Well, you're awesome and have stories and know about Giapo. I'm just a guy who lives in New Plymouth.
Me: But... what about when I run out of stories?
Him: Then we'll make new ones.

singing hearts and light boots

A week ago I went to a spiritual store and bought a ring. Because I bought something, they made me take one of their business cards. All of their business cards have their shop details on one side, and a cool affirmation or whatever on the other side. Mine said:

"Your purpose in life is to do the thing that makes your heart sing."

It kind of completed me. Then I read the quote, "Artists are just regular people who dream in the daylight," and that completed me also. Quotes have been making me feel pretty chilled lately, which is great.

The other thing that's been making me feel pretty chilled is the new boyface I've managed to acquire. I know you're all gagging for details, so here you are. He's tall, with curls. We go on adventures to the zoo and make chalk art and he can always cheer me up when I'm in a bad mood. He has an impressive film and television taste (which we all know is important to me :P) and we both wear glasses. We share quite a few of the same opinions, like how driving is stupid. He accepts my crazy and makes me feel gorgeous and he smells nice.

I do have photos, but sharing them with the entire internet feels weird, so hit me up if you desperately need to see.

Confusion

I've met someone who challenges my view on platonic cuddling. Well... met isn't an appropriate word since we've known each other a few weeks now, and challenging my view also isn't correct since it's more of an overthrow of my entire thinking on the concept.

I believe platonic cuddling can exist. Last night I was... I wouldn't exactly say that my belief was rocked, but things lost their clarity. I know this is remarkably vague, but I haven't really sorted through all of my thoughts and I know this blog is easily google-able if you know what to search.

Yesterday one of my workmates helped me cover my pill box hat frame and then we watched Donnie Darko and How I Met Your Mother. It was the Slap Bet/Robin Sparkles episode which is my favourite episode.

Sometimes I wish things were simple. Sometimes I wish I had the ability to say, "Hey, I like you," without freaking out about it. I would trade any one of my other persony-things (like my ability to public speak) if I were able to tell someone I was into them without almost dying from a panic attack.

My purchases for the past three weeks

Normally I'm pretty good at not spending money. Sometimes, however (like when I'm sad) I don't think about things before I buy. I was just thinking before about what I'd bought over the last few weeks and realised how unnecessary most of it is. I mean, sure, it made me feel good to buy it and have it and all the rest, but do I really need it?

So I've decided to start a new section on this blog: my weekly purchases. Of course, since this is the first post, it'll be my purchases for the last few weeks. Hopefully I'll be able to look at things properly this way and note how much I'm spending and why I'm spending it. Kind of like the Great No Shopping For Lucy Or She Buys Us Booze challenge Lucy went through last year, except I'm not promising a bar tab at the end. Sorry, guys.


Salem Falls - Jodi Picoult. Purchased new, $16.


Season One of Gossip Girl. Purchased new, $29.99


Plato's Symposium. Purchased secondhand - $5.50


Whittakers Peanut Slab.


The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky. Purchased new, $23.95


Black pants. Purchased new, $24.99.


Electric blue cardigan. Purchased new, $31.99.


Heart necklace with ribbon. Purchased new, $7.


Elephant necklace. Purchased new, $11.50.


I've also bought things like tickets to a play, lunch for me and my parents and other strange and delightful things that I've found at work.

21sts

Last night I went to my friend Jeremy's 21st.



I also had a little too much to drink and woke up with a killer hangover, bright and early for work this morning.

I had some interesting conversations with some fun people. Most of the girls there were pretty and had nice legs and perfect hair and were not weird. I felt incredibly out of place but I managed to find some people who I could chatter away with. It really started me thinking about my own 21st. I've known for the past year or so that I'm not having a party, but a dinner. I already have my guest list sorted and unless some major stuff happens between now and July 31st there will be 12 seats at the table.

I'm even excessive enough to know who is sitting where because in my group of invitees there is the potential that a few people may not get on very well. Now I'm trying to decide how grown up it should be. Last night there was a game of pass the parcel and in some of the wrappings were disposable cameras. If you got a camera, you had to use it up on shots of the night. I've heard of people doing it at weddings too and it seems kind of neat... but with a guest list as small as mine it seems a little silly.

Anyway. Yeah. I still need to pick where the eating will occur, but I'm getting some help with that one so hopefully all will be swell!

Dear Life

dear Life,
you are amazing. please don't stop being so.
love, ashlyn xx